We Are Never Ever Getting Out of Bed. Like, Ever.

At this point, I am not sure if I am having a baby or just turning into one.

It is almost 11:30. I am in bed. I awoke around 9, got up, cleaned things, signed up for some teaching positions, and ate a bowl of cereal. Exhaustion ensued.

Third trimester is always a time of exhaustion, my doctor told me. “Don’t over-exert yourself.” Apparently eating a bowl of Froot Loops counts as extreme exertion, because I am completely exhausted right now. Like bedridden exhaustion. Like I’m-not-moving-unless-there’s-a-wildfire exhaustion. I am not even typing this on my computer- I’m using talk-to-text on my iPhone to write this just so I feel like I am doing something with my day…

It doesn’t make sense. Aren’t you supposed to be up every hour once the baby is OUT of your belly, to feed and change and hold him? He’s not even here yet and he wakes me up every hour. It’s like he’s already nagging me:

“mom, get up. You have to pee again.”
“mom, eat something, I’m hungry.”
“mom, can’t we sleep on the other side? It’s hard for me to get a good kick at your internal organs at this angle!”
“mom, you have to pee again, GET UP!!!”

I cannot recall the last time I slept for more than 2 hours without awakening. Welcome me to motherhood, everyone. I have officially arrived at the rest of my life.

A picture of my blinds as I lay in bed. Because I am really that pathetic right now.

2 thoughts on “We Are Never Ever Getting Out of Bed. Like, Ever.

  1. I agree. The shot of your apartment’s blinds resisting the outside world’s oppressive attempts at reaching your inner sanctum would have inspired Ray Johnson.

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