I sit here in bed, eating my second breakfast (a crisp, tangy orchard apple!) trying to summon some energy out of nowhere to get out of bed and shower before I have to work soon.
Last night was… a battle.
With about six weeks to go, my pregnancy has reached the “all-the-time-uncomfortable” stage. For those of you who do not know what this is like, imagine something like a watermelon attached to your stomach- a watermelon that has a strong distaste for things like taking naps and and going to the mall and not having to go to the bathroom. I had been doing okay with the watermelon until this week, when I began dealing with one of the most difficult parenting tasks, to be summarized in one word alone:
Jim Gaffigan, a comedian, talks about bedtime in his stand up (I love it so much I had to link to it), and how kids “act like they’ve never been to sleep before… ‘Bed? What’s that? No, I don’t wanna do that..‘” This is exactly what my baby felt last night. I went to bed at a healthy 9:30pm, preparing myself for a day of teaching today, but not the baby. No, he wanted to party. He’s getting so big that every punch, every roll, every slight kick of the foot moves my stomach to the likes of a horror film. It becomes all eerie and misshapen. Last night he apparently decided his new favorite activity is “lung-punching”, upon which he tested on me for oh… two hours. This in accompaniment of bladder-kicking, making me have to pee about 15 times in that short time span, made me increasingly unpleasant as the night wore on. My husband (who is not allowed to sleep unless I am) and I tried everything we could think of to get him to calm down- from strapping headphones on my belly and playing some symphonic radio to chugging milk. I lie awake for three hours, tossing, turning, gathering more pillows, taking them away, and finally asking myself:
“What am I going to do when he comes OUT?!”
I understand how important it is to appreciate this time of being pregnant, this time before my child embraces the world. I know this is meant to prepare me for 2am booby calls and hour crying sessions and changing diapers on 30 minutes of sleep. But at least then I can see my baby, and I will know what I will be dealing with. As of right now, I have no idea.
However, we start ‘baby classes’ next week. Stay tuned… and cherish your sleep while you can still get it…