You’re Old, Life’s Over

I have teenage siblings. They’re like, totally sick, or whatever. I mean ill. I mean, they’re cool. What I’m trying to say is that they’re dope. Or nasty. Or omg.

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My face when someone says “Straight up posted 2 da crib.”

THEY ARE RESPECTABLE INDIVIDUALS. (I hate pop culture.)

I’m old. And not just because I am a big sister to three teens, but because I am a mother to a boy who will be 1 in a month. ONE MONTH. It’s really starting to hit me that my life is… moving.

At the withered age of 23, it’s easy to feel completely consumed by whatever it is you’re doing. And completely run over by the fact that you’re almost in your mid-twenties; your life was in front of you when suddenly it whirred by in an instant and has left you blankly staring at its silhouette- bewildered at how you didn’t see it coming. I used to think that by this age I would have a perfectly spotless life of doing some unknown work I had discovered I was passionate about. At the very least I thought I would have my life together. But not so. Still in progress.

It’s hard not to constantly look ahead, not to daydream of the someday every single day. But every day, as I watch my son grow and my eyes wrinkle (AH!!), I am reminded of the importance of cherishing the fleeting seconds. Savoring the short days I have with one infant and a house to myself. Loving life. It’s so hard to do, maybe because I’m too old for the YOLO culture (…seriously, you only live once and I can’t roll my eyes obviously enough) and too young to fully grasp how quick life is. My life has been an elevator I’ve been waiting in and suddenly, I realize that I’ve been on the floor I’ve wanted to be on all along, and it’s an downward escalator, carrying me to my grave, and I don’t have to push any buttons, and this metaphor is frightening me the further I type it…

But your life, my life, ANY life is so valuable and great. So love every second of where you are in it right now. We all know love’s not easy, and sometimes you hate the things that you love and want to change everything about those things… But I think trying is the key part. Putting the effort in.

Because, as the young people say, “YOLO.”

(Ew, I can’t believe I just typed that)

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